I know, and I'm here

***** This is a devotional I wrote in August 2007 for our Youth Group. I re-wrote it, only modifying a few mentions of specific time periods (like switching "This week" to "Over the summer") and a few other minor references that I expanded for a more general audience.*****

Have you ever felt like God is out of reach? Out of hearing range? Or not even there at all? And it always seems to happen when we're at our lowest times, when we need Him the most, doesn't it?

Over the summer, I went to SoulFest, a huge Christian music festival. That was at the beginning of August, and weeks before that, Pastor Dave (the Youth Pastor l work with) had asked the various youth leaders for volunteers to lead devotionals over the summer. I had agreed to do the last Sunday of our summer without a clue as to what I'd talk about. But, i knew that "God works in mysterious ways", and He's used SoulFest twice before to drive in lessons I've needed to learn: Commitment to Christ. Surrendering to His will. And this year? God's compassion for our pain and sorrow.

I got this pendant the thursday night at SoulFest. It's called "I Know" and symbolizes the compassion of God. It's a little bottle that God uses to capture each tear you shed. Each symbol made by Remember Me Jewelry comes with a little card telling you what the symbol represents and has a poem and Bible verse.

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This symbol represents the compassion of God. He captures each tear that drips down your face, and tenderly places them into His bottle. When you cry, you are not alone. When you think no one could possibly understand the pain you feel...He knows. He is right there beside you, collecting those precious drops. A weary mind, tears you sow / down your cheek the pain it flows / tattered...on your knees you go / He'll hold your face and say,"I Know"

Psalm 56:8 - You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. NLT
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Onto friday night. Friday night at SoulFest, I saw one of my favorite bands, Storyside:B, and finally got their new album I'd been waiting for. At the end of the day, when I got back to the campsite feeling battered, exhausted, and just plain gross from the dusty grounds and stifling heat and humidity. All I wanted to do was crash. So, I put that new CD in my discman and plugged in my headphones to block out the concerts still going on. I got to the third track, titled "Be still", and got my spark of inspiration for this devotional from the lyrics of the chorus:

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When I feel like caving in, / my heart, my soul is wearing thin / I just want to give up / nothing seems at all to add up. / Can You hear me, Lord? / My face is down upon the floor, / it's then You whisper in my ear / "Be still and know I'm here."
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You see, I've learned that God is closest to us when we're at rock bottom. When we feel like we're the most alone, face down on the floor and we've given up all but the tiniest thread of hope... That's when God is there, right beside us, collecting each tear, holding us as we cry. He's there, telling us "I know. I know what you're going through. I know every pain you've felt. I know what each and every tear you shed was for. Be still and know that I am here. I'm here with you. You are never alone.

I know it's hard to feel God; it's one of the things I still struggle with most. Sometimes it feels like the pain is more real than God is. But, now I have this reminder. So no matter where I am, no matter what I'm going through, no matter how alone I may feel, i know that God is with me, and all I have to do is listen for His whisper: "I Know, and I'm Here."